“Touch it to see how much time is left”: When Your Kid Thinks the Movie Theater is Netflix

This interview is with my friend Hova. I thought she’d have some great stories and advice and she didn’t disappoint. Her house sounds fun and her kids sound lucky. I hope you enjoy it!

How old are your kids? 

I have two younger kiddos: L, 4 years old and Z, 6 years old.

What's the coolest thing you've seen your kids do with a device, app, or screen?

Since my kiddos never knew a time without tech they have fully accepted tech's unlimited possibility and use it creatively. We don't let them use devices often yet, but we do include them when we're building things with tech. A cute example happened during science fair planning for my oldest kiddo. One of the project ideas was to make a robot that changed color with the temperature and we were brainstorming how to do it. Out of nowhere, my youngest (who was not supposed to be involved) said: "Oh, if the robot knows the temperature, why not have it tell us if we need a jacket?". While I was stuck in the weeds fixated on the mechanics of the solution, she was already thinking ahead imagining how it could add real value. So proud!

Another time, after repeated requests to use my phone (usually a firm "no" from me) they finally convinced me by saying they needed to take a picture. Whenever a kiddo NEEDS to take a photo i'm super curious so I gave it to them. It turns out, they were playing a notoriously dark, "lights-off" maze level in Mario Wonder and the picture was of the maze before the lights went out. They had the idea to use that momentary full view at the start of the level to create a visual map to navigate the maze in the dark. If I would have had this technology as a kid I think I would have been a lot better at video games.

What's been the most frustrating thing about a device, app or screen?

Ending screen time can be a real nightmare for everyone involved. We used to get really frustrated until we realized that we were actually the problem. Imagine someone switching off your TV when you're hooked on a story (you wouldn't be happy either). Our solution now is to give a 5-minute warning with a visual timer rather than just cutting it off cold turkey. We've also started using this technique when switching tasks in general (ex: bath time to dinner time, work to play time, etc) and it's been a game changer for everyone. Another thing we swear by to manage tv screen time is hooking up every single TV to smart outlets controlled by the Kasa app that magically turn on during specific times of the day for a specific period of time that just happen to line up with ideal times during the weekend. 

Additionally, It's frustrating how much garbage is out there for children's tv programming these days. We've been trying to curate to the best of our efforts but other times they're just really into a heart warming documentary about an otter or learning things from the Magic School Bus and I.. watch it with them.

Is there something that's different about their use of technology than you expected? Or something you decided needed to change?

A recent incident with my oldest kiddo really drove home how much their tech usage influences them. When we took them to their first movie in a movie theatre they got antsy halfway through the movie and asked me to "touch it to see how much more time is left" like it was a movie on Netflix. I laughed out loud during a tense, quiet scene at that. It's a funny story, but it also made me think about something unexpected: do we over complicate the concept of human intelligence vs AI intelligence? Aren't our actions largely predictions based on past experiences—a/k/a personal 'training data'? 

You mentioned your kids have a different relationship with technology than you do, what did you mean by that?

I remember a time before the internet, while my kids have never known life without it. They accept technology as a natural part of life and they don’t have to unlearn any of the 'old rules' around it. To me, tech is a tool I use but to them it's an extension of their world.

For example, we're a big video game house. For me and my partner, video games are about adventure and puzzle solving (a means to an end). Meanwhile, our kiddos love video games in a different way. They’re not focused on completing the task at hand. Instead, for them the point of playing is to immerse themselves in the world the game has built. They will do this for hours in games like Pokemon, The Legend of Zelda, and even Mario Kart (which is infuriating for bystanders). To be clear, they can race and play the game they’ve just decided they don't want to do that.

My kiddos also just take the latest tech as normal. For example, I always lose my phone. Whenever this happens, the stress of the situation somehow reverts me back to the early 2010s and I turn up the house looking for it. However, if my kiddos are near me they are quick to remind me to use my watch and "beep it".

What are your hopes for their relationship with technology as they get older? Will you let them have AI friends? Use AI to do homework? Do you want them to work in tech?

My hope is that they are tech literate throughout their lives. I would love for them to go into tech so we could bond over it, but I want them to chase whatever dreams they have and teach me about them along the way. Tech will be there wherever they go. When I was growing up I was sold this idea that you had to pick one career and stick with it forever. But things evolve so rapidly today that resilience and creativity matter more than rigid paths. No matter what they choose, being tech literate will help them navigate their careers, spot misinformation, identify AI-generated content, and automate the mundane so they can focus on the creative, forward-thinking work that matters to them. 

When it comes to homework, I'm pro using AI for it to augment their studies so long as they are increasing their agency and learning process, not just phoning it in. For example, when writing an essay they shouldn't use AI to just write the book report, they should use it to workshop:

• How to write tricky passages or complex thoughts they want to get across

• How to make a section more concise

• Potential improvements based on a grading rubric

Do you use any devices/apps for parenting? If so, what?

We've been using devices/apps for parenting since day one. When the kiddos were born we absolutely swore by the Owlet app paired with their sleep sock. It saved me so much sleep because I was always a nervous young mom worried about severe baby sleep apnea that runs in my family.

Now that the kiddos are older, we use air tags to track them when we are in crowded places and LLMs for fun things. For example, at bedtime we noticed that they got bored of reading the same books and instead wanted to write their own stories. We'll use LLMs to do this by having the kiddos prompt the premise, I'll sneak in some important lessons that i'd like them to learn or solidify from the day (ex: don't touch hot things!), ask the LLM to use as many "sight words" in the story as possible, and ask the LLM to write it for a kindergarten level so my oldest kiddo can read it back to us. This has been a fun, creative process for them as well as a great way to learn their sight words for school (see 3D printed sight word necklace we made as well).

Another app we swear by for random parenting hacks (not just for tvs!) is the Kasa Smart outlet app. We got an inflatable Zero (from Nightmare Before Christmas) lawn ornament last Christmas and it was such a hit we still use it as a "carrot" to get the kiddos to put their shoes on in the morning and get out the door. If they get ready in time they get to watch Zero blow up magically at 8am. We're "that" house with the holiday decor in May.